When Averie was turning two and Brian and I decided that it was time to add another child to our family. We started trying to conceive, but I had a feeling that something was wrong and that it was going to take a while. I had no idea just how extensive that feeling would be or what it would mean to our family. Months went on without success of getting pregnant. I became extremely discouraged and frustrated with our situation. Brian was confident that everything was fine and he did his best to encourage me that everything would work out and that I would get pregnant.
After 6 months of trying I convinced Brian that we needed to go and see a specialist. I knew that it had only been 6 months, but the nagging feeling that I had wouldn't go away. One of my friends had gone through the Reproductive Care Center in Sandy and was able to get pregnant with both of her children after consulting with Dr. Keith Blauer. I called the RCC and set up an appointment with Dr. Blauer.
The next few months were a blur of testing and medication. The clinic really could not find anything definite that would explain my infertility. I suffered from endometreosis, but Dr. Blauer did not think that would be the cause. Eventually Dr. Blauer found that I was producing a higher level of prolactin than I should be. Prolactin is a protein that is used to help produce breast milk. High levels can be an indicator of a pituitary tumor and can also affect fertility. Our first action was to get the prolactin levels under control and thankfully rule out the pituitary tumor. Unfortunately, this did not fix our infertility and the testing continued.
I went to undergo several medicated cycles of clomid and other ovulation stimulation medications. We even tried artificial insemination, but to no avail.. For some reason, we just couldn't get pregnant. My frustration and depression continued to persist and eventually we decided that we were going to take a break from everything. We went several months without undergoing any treatment and I tried to focus my efforts on things that I could control. This worked for a little while, but the desire to have more children never left me.
Going through infertility is by far the most trying experience that I have ever had. It is the feeling of helplessness and lack of control that eats at you. While everyone around you is getting pregnant without even trying, you are constantly reminded of your failure as a woman. After all, your genetic role as woman is to bear children. When this taken away, you feel worthless and hopeless. I wouldn't wish infertility on anyone. It was the worst experience that I have had in my life. I know that I needed to go through that experience to grow spiritually, but I am still trying to figure out the specific lesson I was to gain from going through it. While it was an experience I don't ever wish to relive, I am hoping that I can look back and have a better understanding of why I was given it as a trial.
During this trial of infertility, we were also faced with the experience of Brian losing his job. His company was not doing well and he was laid off. At the time it seemed like things couldn't get any worse, but it a way that we didn't understand, him losing his job was one of the greatest blessings we could have asked for. He started a new job with a different company and this company offered infertility benefits. It is extremely rare to find insurance that covers the high cost of infertility treatment. We were ecstatic. We knew that we would most likely have to undergo Invitro Fertilization if we wanted to get pregnant, however, with the cost, we thought we would never be able to afford it. With the benefits that his company offered, our dream was within reach. Unfortunately, we were currently using my insurance so we would have to wait several months before we would be able to change to his insurance.
After what seemed like forever, we were finally able to apply for his benefits that would go into affect in January 2014. We were finally approved and able to start the IVF process in February which gave us 5 little embryos that we were able to freeze. I had a few complications and was not able to immediately use any of the embryos that survived. In April we were finally scheduled to have our first transfer of two of the embryos. Everything looked great and we shortly found out that we were expecting. This was the most ecstatic news that was quickly turned into tragedy. The pregnancy did not last long and I miscarried the next month.
Even with the devastation of the miscarriage, we decided that we wanted to try again as soon as possible. I figured that it wouldn't hurt any less if we had a similar outcome right away or six months down the road. We went in for our second transfer in June and again transferred two little embryos. Again, I found out I was pregnant right away. I was a little more hesitant to celebrate, but fortunately for us, the transfer was successful and little Bryken was on his way to join our family.
Averie was so excited to finally have a sibling on the way!
We had to do a thirty day count down once we were close to delivering to help Averie understand when Bryken was coming. She was so excited when the last chain was left!
On Thursday, March 5th, 2015, Bryken Robert Anderson was born at 8:05 am. He weighed 6 pounds and 7 ounces. He was 19 inches long and oh so perfect! We have waited a very long time for Bryken to join our family. He is our miracle.
We walked into the Operating Room and they prepped me for surgery. I had my spinal block and within minutes, Dr. Burgett was operating and we were so close to meeting our little boy. There were several emotions going through me during the twenty five minutes that it took Dr. Burgett to deliver Bryken. I was so excited and very nervous. After everything that we went through to get him, I was just praying that everything would be fine with Bryken.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I heard Dr. Burgett say, "Oh looks like he has a ton of hair". I was able to look up at a surgical light and see the reflection of Dr. Burgett pulling Bryken out. It was such a surreal moment. Seconds later Bryken was being held over the drape for Brian and I to see. He was blue but looked absolutely perfect. He started crying while they cleaned him up.
We spent a good amount of time in the labor and delivery room enjoying our sweet new baby.
Here he is with Grandma and Grandpa Payne.